Parody Poem: An Apple in Red

With apologies to Chris de Burgh, this a parody of the song ‘Lady in Red’.

I’ve never seen an apple so lovely as the one I ate,
I’ve never seen an apple so sate,
I’ve never seen so many kiwis wishing to be an apple,
They’re looking for a little amusement, to play dapple,
And I have never seen that core you are eating,
Or the peels in your hand that has the sweeting,
I have been cruel;

The apple core has landed in a bin, seed to seed,
There’s nobody there, until birds greed,
It’s not where I want to feed,
But I thank the birds for scattering the seed,
I’ll never forget the redness of your peel;

I’ve never taste an apple so succulent as in today’s pie,
I’ve never cooked an apple so delicious, it were divine,
I’ve never seen so many kiwis want to be in the baking tray,
And when I brushed pastry with eggs, it took their breath away,
And I have never had such a baking,
Such a baking of golden brown and complete success, as I do today;

The apple core has landed in a bin, seed to seed,
There’s nobody there, until birds greed,
It’s not where I want to feed,
But I thank the birds for scattering the seed,
I’ll never forget the redness of your peel,
I’ll never forget the redness of your peel;

Apple in red
Apple in red
Apple in red
My apple in red (I ate you).

*First published by Parody Poetry Journal Volume 4 Issue 2

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